


rainfalls in july

by DidiNyx



Series: Tales of Platonic Voltron [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Beaches, Birthday, Carnival, Childhood Memories, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, Family Loss, Flowers, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, JuLance Challenge 2018, Music, Poetic, Prompt Fic, Self-Doubt, Self-Reflection, Short & Sweet, Stargazing, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, barely any dialogue ahh, but i love my blue boy lance so have this, i actually do want my blue boy happy and now im crying for god's sake what is this madness, i didnt really mean to apply religious undertones in the summary, it was a poem i had originally made for fun but then i added the blue symbolism soo, technically this has multiple fics in one because i was too lazy to write each day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-08 12:31:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15243456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DidiNyx/pseuds/DidiNyx
Summary: If waves a burden, not beauty-And skies be black, not blue-Then how come one still claimsHis treasured Book will guide you?Then the opposite, I think, may be true:One is the most lonely number,So does that also make Heaven blue?-My contribution to JuLance 2018. Happy birthday, Lance!!! <3 <3





	rainfalls in july

**Author's Note:**

> warning: langst 
> 
> but dont worry there will be a happy ending.

I.

Where Lance is, he can't touch the water. He can't feel its waves or splash merrily without remembering great loss and strife. Yet his mind crosses today out and it is stored in the back for later introspection. Now he can pretend the layers of space and stardust have some common ground with the ocean's depths. Miraculously silence is replaced with his family's laughter as young Lance collects seashells by the shore. The warmth of the sun to bask in, the softness of the sand... This is a safe haven. But it's only for the sacred memories of long ago.

II.

Perhaps the cosmos is like the ocean. Perhaps the big black sky that carries on forever with its endless constellations are the waves, and those gleaming lights represent endless creatures, plants, and other mysteries. Miss McClain promised her son that wishing upon the stars granted any wish one could desire, as if they could grasp humanity's dreams and tuck them away safely. Lance had wished for something- he could barely recall what. But perhaps he didn't wish for anything, he pondered. Maybe he just wanted to stay home.

III.

Team Voltron refused to leave Lance alone. It was his birthday after all, they said, and they were his family too. And unlike the McClains, they could physically hug Lance, though this only played with his emotions while easing him just the same. If Mama were here, he thought, if Marco and Luis and Veronica were here... Yet his faithful team easily showed their support, their acceptance. Lance smiled through tears. He was lucky, though burdened. He was loved, though misunderstood greatly for his damned counterfeit fooled even himself. But he had somebody- as in Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Hunk, Allura and Coran. They started with him when he first arrived lost in space. They were lost, too. And they're loving effortlessly. 

IV.

Coran and Allura helped the team stargaze while on their beloved castle ship. It surely wasn't the same. To Lance the stars were more taunting than beautiful, reminding him how home was so far away. Oh, Earth! What a lonely planet. The only one with his family... It must be the loneliest of all. Planets in space may be empty, but no emotion would exist without anyone. Therefore, Lance, mentally on Earth though no one answers his calls, was lonely. One is the loneliest number and Earth is the loneliest planet, he concluded. 

V.

But look how Pidge is making jokes! Look how Hunk smiles! Look how Allura is laughing with joy! Shiro's finally rested. Keith looks at peace with himself. Coran is telling the most wondrous stories of space. One cannot be truly blue when one has so many lovely people, lovely friends. He may reflect the sparkling sea but the sun that is them make those murky water seem clear. Lance smiles. His turn to tease, to joke. It's bittersweet- he doesn't want to be a fool- but if the others are happy he can be, too. The others don't brush him away this time. They smile back, and continue. Lance is yet again his past, childish self in awe of the world bigger than his own.

VI. 

Lance cannot take his rewards as true victories. He is knowingly undeserving of their kindness, he thinks, because he is such a liar. He lies about a lot, and his own identity is unclear to himself. Yet he tries to outwardly flaunt and express the courage he does not always have. Perhaps I'm weak, he thinks. Perhaps I truly am selfish. But... Oh, that distasteful word. Nothing can be cleaned up nicely now that they were space. There's always _but what if we're trapped_... I need to protect them, he decides. Regardless of me, or anything we may be going through. That's one way I can repay them. That's one thing I can do right. 

(Blue, such a lonely color.)

VII.

The carnival had also been a favorite place. Of course, the toys guns and the prizes were replaced in Lance's mind with the real thing: He was the sharpshooter (more or less), he had a battle to fight and victory to win for the sake of the galaxy. Sadly, you barely ever got a prize that could satisfy you and come quite easy. Though, really, Lance only needed to know his team was safe, that _citizens_ were safe. Yet, upon reflection, it is still sad how easily the little things are taken for granted- until they're gone. Much like the title of blue paladin... Now he was red. He had to live up to that, he had to embrace the polar opposite. Did it count as betrayal, though the role somehow worked? Give easy, get easy... Yes, perhaps it could be worse...

VIII.

When tears began, the kept flowing. Sometimes to what felt like now end for the blue paladin. Like a stream, like the depths he reflected... He was blue, after all. And now it was truly evident. Yet he did not let others see, he did not let the mask slip. Because if only they knew, if only they knew... No. He must not give up. He must push on. He's done it one-thousand times; he can do it once more. Lance realized some sort of twisted, inner strength and laughed. _Funny, the very thing I berate myself on is the very thing that's somehow making this work._ This time he cried because he was laughing. The situation was bitter, and yet he reminded himself he was witnessing history. He was chosen for a reason. Without him... well, there'd be more room to fill. It was his duty to stay, so he had to stay. Besides... all the grit, all the misfortune... It was teaching him a bigger story. One in which was bigger than himself, the world he had known. The ocean was about adapting, and by God he was going to adapt! He'd see these waves sparkle in triumph sweet for all planets- including Earth. Yes, he is doing this for his Earth. Sweet, lonely, blue, beautiful, small Earth. 

(And so the rain continued to pour- this time to heal. This time with clarity.)

IX.

"Lance!" Allura called from the other room cheerfully. "Come here!" Upon entering the door, his eyes took in the sight up his team smiling as the room was decorated with blue banners and balloons. Allura and Coran held a cake as everyone else clapped, cheered and gestured to the table located in the center of the room, holding presents. "It's not a lot," Shiro said, "but it's as much as we could do." He nodded like _You did well, kid_. Hunk stepped forward. "I made the cake!" Lance smiled. They were quite a beautiful, generous family. Lance's mind went back to his childhood birthdays, the whole family gathered around one crowded table singing in Spanish. The grown-ups chiding the loud kids but partied themselves. Lance blew out the birthday candles. He was closer to home than he thought, he realized. The whole team hugged him. Their hugs were comforting, he noted. Their smiles are worth it. _You are loved_ , said the inner voice. _And as long as they're around you are not alone._ Later on, Keith shyly asked what he had wished for. He understood loneliness. Lance shrugged. "I really want to see the rain." Keith nodded slowly; Pidge, Hunk and Shiro looked nostalgic as well. "I want... I want my whole family to see the rain." He eyed the others.

He was blue. But he wasn't alone.

**Author's Note:**

> queennyxie.tumblr.com Come scream to me if you wanna
> 
> it's not much but i wanted to do /something/ and this just came naturally :) i usually don't write like that but it was a nice break from my elaborated works. xoxo


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